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- TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'RE WATCHING A BAD DAYTIME TALK SHOW
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- 10. Whenever host hands microphone to audience member, they say
- "This really sucks!"
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- 9. You can't tell transsexuals from the transvestites
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- 8. Every day, the same subject: people who married their fiances
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- 7. Host tells every panelist, "Man, you are one screwed up freak"
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- 6. Audience members keep asking, "Can we go watch O.J.?"
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- 5. Guests take turns slow dancing with a tranquilized monkey
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- 4. The topic is "Let's Look For Swedes"
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- 3. It's just a guy whacking people with a microphone
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- 2. It stars a small, absent-minded woman named "Rosa"
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- 1. Hosts keep asking "What would Gump do?"
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- Letterman, Monday, March 13, 1995
- Copyright Worldwide Pants, Inc. 1995
-